37 and a half to life

2020 came in with a vengeance. My native Puerto Rico began experiencing earthquakes, it had been about 100 years since any such significant quakes had taken place, people were suddenly displaced from their homes, and afraid to sleep indoors, camped outside to feel safe. Then, only three months into the year, what seemed like the entire world just paused. COVID19 (a virus likened to the 1918 Flu ) was threatening our very existence, killing many overseas, the death-toll raising here too. Schools closed, businesses closed, churches closed, everything closed (except grocery stores and hospitals). Distance learning became the new buzzword in education. Social Distancing part of our vocabulary. "Don't wear a mask, wear a mask,  test only if you have symptoms, everyone should get tested, worry only if you are old, anyone can die, antibodies means your'e safe, not so fast!" I'll stay home, thank you...  let me know when it's safe! In the meantime, my college s...

Everyone is feeling it right now. COVID 19 has taken over our lives and no one has been spared. This pandemic has catapulted the entire world into strange times. This invisible enemy, as many have called it, doesn't discriminate and is among us, making some deathly ill and barely affecting others' health. It may be inside me at this very moment and I don't even know it. That's what makes it so scary, so nerve-wrecking. So all we have to do is stay home. Those of us who don't have to take care of the sick or work at a grocery store or provide any other essential service... we help by staying home. I am working from my laptop; attending and running meetings online. All of the attendees sit in their own square, reminiscent of the Brady Bunch opening , it's kind of comical. I also get to facilitate the home or distance learning that my kids are engaged in. All of them (2nd, 5th, 12th and Sophomore in college) work on their devices and attend classes in the s...

The dictionary defines 'false hopes' as confident feelings about something that might not be true. I can bet that nearly everyone has experienced false hopes at some point of their life. As I reflect on the last 26 years, there have been many moments of hope that later turned out to be false. From the moment my husband was arrested, knowing that everything would be OK and he would be released. But he hasn't come home, yet. In 2005, the Rockefeller  Reform gave hope to a lot of inmates. Many became eligible for re-sentencing under the new guidelines. Some were fortunate enough to go home. My husband held out hope that this would be instrumental in his return. He drafted out his own motion, a lawyer was hired to represent him and when his time came, he received a time cut. From having 25- life he now was to serve 20 years flat on the drug conviction. When he was re-sentenced, the judge made no mention of his consecutive sentences. So, for the next 4 years or so, we hop...

Almost a year since my husband has been closer. An hour drive to see him is still nothing compared to the 5 and a half from before. This last year has been full of getting back to our 'normal'; regular visits, daily phone calls (that are longer than 15 minutes!), bringing packages, etc. With more interaction, though, also came more conflict. More interruptions in my day (that sometimes weren't taken kindly), more being in the 'know' at the home-front (more about that another time :) But also more conversations about how to get over those conflicts because, soon, we'll be under one roof (God willing!). It feels good to have him near, almost like he's here! And now, with the help of technology and of course money, we have found a way to get closer. So, a couple of months ago my husband called and announced that he had finally gotten the long awaited and highly anticipated "TABLET!" It was the cutest thing ever, hearing him talk about the feature...

Last month, the real life drama that unfolded in Upstate New York became a Showtime mini-series, Escape at Dannemora . Meanwhile, my husband sat at Clinton Correctional Facility, where these events (and some on-location filming) actually took place. He waited to be transferred somewhere, anywhere else, but expected to go to a medium security prison and hopefully be closer to home, at least in proximity.  Having visited that prison for the last two years, I can see why someone would want to escape it. I wrote about how it made me feel to be there and can only imagine what it must be like behind it's great wall. My husband never looked well while he was there. He actually suffered an injury on his index finger and never received the proper treatment despite asking for medical assistance numerous times. He was left to treat his finger on his own and months later it is still not back to normal.  A couple of weeks ago, my husband asked me to call Albany to find out the sta...

25 years, a quarter of a century, two and a half decades... however you put it... it's an awful long time to wait for someone to come home. Yet, as of 10 days ago, that is exactly how long my husband has been behind bars. October 21st, 1993. The silver anniversary came and went without me noticing. He sure didn't remind me and I was too busy. But the heaviness in our hearts is the reminder we have day in and day out; we can't shake that off, regardless of the date! With this anniversary, however, a new sense of hope has come. About a month ago, my husband called me to tell me that he'd been summoned to his counselor's office; he's due for a preferential transfer. His counselor told him that his classification also dropped... awesome news!!! He has spent every single moment of his incarceration at a Maximum facility. Now, he qualifies to go to a Medium. We are happy and exited... Medium Status represents a step closer to coming home, more freedom for him,...

Have you ever taken your kids to the playground only to have THAT kid show up? The one that always makes some other kid cry within five minutes of his arrival? The one that made you cringe when you found out he was in your daughter's first grade class? The one teachers pray he'll stay home... just ONCE!? We have all met THAT kid. Some of us have been THAT kid. Well... I'm his mom! Some call him spirited, others energetic, active, full of life... he needs to burn energy, yes. It started when he was 6 months old; he let out a shriek unlike anything I had ever heard before. As he got older, he was perceived to be 'aggressive' towards his peers. As an observer, I think he had a hard time with spatial awareness... he was clumsy and impatient so he would push his way through (the playground, a line, etc.). I was so hurt and embarrassed to hear other parents complain about THAT kid, that I started taking him to the playground when I knew it would be empty or close ...