Friday, November 2, 2018


25 years, a quarter of a century, two and a half decades... however you put it... it's an awful long time to wait for someone to come home. Yet, as of 10 days ago, that is exactly how long my husband has been behind bars. October 21st, 1993. The silver anniversary came and went without me noticing. He sure didn't remind me and I was too busy. But the heaviness in our hearts is the reminder we have day in and day out; we can't shake that off, regardless of the date!

With this anniversary, however, a new sense of hope has come. About a month ago, my husband called me to tell me that he'd been summoned to his counselor's office; he's due for a preferential transfer. His counselor told him that his classification also dropped... awesome news!!! He has spent every single moment of his incarceration at a Maximum facility. Now, he qualifies to go to a Medium. We are happy and exited... Medium Status represents a step closer to coming home, more freedom for him, etc.

Truthfully, just like every other change that we have faced, it comes with new concerns, fears and challenges. Will he able to adjust to a new environment... again? How do the Correctional Officers treat Inmates there? Will we be able to visit more often (I hope so!)?

I haven't seen my husband since July. There is no good excuse for not having gone to see him. I have made my way through blizzards, rain, illness, economic hardship... yet each weekend something or other has kept me home. It might be that I'm having some serious 'magical thinking' that the next time I see him will be somewhere else. Perhaps I'm exhausted from driving the 5+ hours into the gray and have allowed it to suck the pep out of me! Either way, I'm ready for the new chapter. The final one where everything gets resolved and then he comes home.

I can't wait to write the Epilogue and tell the story of what came after the healing began. After I got my hair cut, after my husband put the pieces of his life back together, after his kids learned what it feels like to have their dad home. After I figured out how over 25 years of incarceration can benefit a family and helped us become better people; so that we can help others navigate their own lives.

Twenty five is a lifetime for some, an episode for others, may be a beginning for us? It can be just another number, one more year, but how many more to go? Only God knows... in the meantime we take life in stride; chin up and be the best that we can be!

No comments:

Post a Comment