37 and a half to life

School is back in session. In preparing myself for a new school year I reflected on my experiences as a Prison Wife. I alphabetized my list, please feel free to come up with more words in the comments section. A Absence- Your loved one is not here, he is absent but not gone. Advocate- prepare to speak for him. Calling the facility and sometimes Albany to make sure he is safe and being treated fairly. Anger-  At an unfair system, at him, for putting you through this, at yourself, because you choose to stay and suffer. Attorney- If you can afford it, hire one! B Blessings- Count them any chance you get. They are everywhere you just need to recognize them. C Caring - The only way to get through the tough times. Children - The innocent victims of incarceration. We must nurture them and teach them so that they may not continue the cycle. Crazy- Many people will question your sanity. I am here to reassure you that you are sane, promise! D Dedication- Day in and day...

First of all, I do not kiss and tell! I do want to take you inside an actual conjugal visit (aka Trailers) but there's no need to cover your eyes :-). The truth is much more mundane and emotional than anyone could ever imagine. I have to confess that I envisioned a romantic getaway-type scenario. Having no idea of what to expect, I imagined the "place" to be very dark and small, intimate even. In my mind, there would be candlelight and romance. In order to qualify for a visit (Family Reunion Program) we had to be legally married, check. My husband had to meet certain criteria such as, maintaining a clean discipline record, submitting to drug tests, completion of required programs (check, check and check!), just to name a few. Once all of the paperwork was submitted, we waited. Albany gave the go-ahead and we were given a date. That's when the planning began. There was a list of allowed items (food and personal). The list of NOT allowed items was arbitrary and confus...