Saturday, August 18, 2018

Connected

Last night my eldest daughter called me, and with excitement, announced that she had run into a friend who, in her words, was "well connected." She sounded like her eight year old self whenever she learned something that really peaked her interest and filled her with curiosity- she couldn't stop talking!

"Mami, this guy has dinner with Judges and Federal Prosecutors, he says he can help us, that all it takes is money and Papi can be home... he can come home, like tomorrow!!!" I listened to the high pitched sounds of my daughter's hopeful speech but I could not bring myself to share her sentiment. She sounded amazed to find out that all it takes is money, "you're preaching to the choir," was my thought, but I let her continue. She talked about privilege and that, for once, we may have a connection with someone who has it and can use it to help us. OK, so she has a point... but is it too late?

My first thought is, I have no money. I have exhausted my resources by hiring lawyers in the past (also by living, raising kids, etc). Then I thought about the fact that my husband has less than five years to go to the Parole Board- to some, five years may be a sentence in itself but for us, it's the homestretch. And, frankly, legal proceedings take forever, five years may be equal to how long it would take for someone to examine his case, find issues, go to court, etc, etc. Lastly, we are working on submitting a Clemency request. Who knows, he's done 25 out of his 29 year sentence... he may just be granted Clemency (we are hopeful!). But all of this is not to say that we would not consider any path that may lead to my husband's freedom. I am just at a point where so much has been explored, to no avail- it can make a person jaded, skeptical.

But last night, as I heard my daughter make her case for her father's release, I felt like I was listening to myself. I recognized the urgency that fueled her speech... I have carried the same urgency in my heart, though sometimes I have to quiet it so that I can get through my days. She misses her father, the father she has never seen free. And it's time. For her to see him walk through those doors, into the 21st Century, into our lives, into his own manhood, into fatherhood.

The pain in her voice overflows when she speaks of the injustices done to him and in turn, to her. And when she imagines that she might be able to help bring him home, she can't contain the excitement! So, I listen and I reassure her that we will bring him home... we will.

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