Visitation: take one!

-
Visiting someone in prison is a unique experience. I would say it's even unique each time because rules change so often and/or are enforced in different ways based on who's in charge. Visitation rules are open to officers' interpretation, is what I have found over the years.

My first attempt at visiting my husband was short of a disaster. I had recently purchased a new-to-me car. It was a Ford Probe; a fast, sporty-looking, very 90's, complete with pop up lights, low mileage (yessss), white car. I placed my 18 month old daughter in the front passenger seat (as was customary and totally legal then) and headed to where my husband said he had 'landed.' With no GPS available, I followed directions to the prison. As I approached the immense, brick building, I felt a pang of excitement in my gut. I couldn't wait to give my husband a proper hug. It had been almost a year since we had truly embraced! I took my toddler and climbed the numerous steps to the visitor entrance. "Who are you visiting?," barked the officer behind the counter. When I gave him the information, the officer told me I was in the wrong place. My actual destination was further down the street.

Back to the car we went. After driving for about two minutes we arrived at the other prison (who knew there were multiples on one road!) It had started to rain so we ran to the building. I filled out the visitation form and waited for the officer to tell me what was next. Then he gave me unexpected news; "he's not here anymore." What??? So he explained that he had been transferred to his "permanent" location and that I would have to wait for his call.

Once again, I felt deflated (I might be a human balloon), took my daughter and ran back to the car. The rain started to come down harder as we drove away. By the time we got to the thruway it was pretty much storming. Then my sweet little girl gave me a funny look. The next thing I knew she was projectile vomiting and there was nothing I could do!

"Perfect!" I thought. The most appropriate culmination to our super crappy day. After pulling over and cleaning up the best I could (thank God for baby wipes!), I drove back home. Sad, disappointed, stinky, we went back to our daily routine. Oh, but my poor new-to-me car!


Comments

  1. UnknownJune 2, 2017 at 1:52 PM

    Ahhhh so THAT'S why that car had that funny smell!🤢

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 2, 2017 at 3:58 PM

    You are the strongest person I know Wanda. How did you do it?? And you did it well by the way, you have raised such a wonderful bunch!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Freedom's Eve

-
Image
Tonight is my husband's last night of captivity. In less than 12 hours he will be a free man, at least physically. His spirit and his mind have never been imprisoned.  I have no words for the way I feel right now. This is too big to describe!  Last Sunday I visited my husband for what I hope will be the last time. As I sat in the visiting room, I was flooded with memories; how I imagine one's life flashes before we die. I saw myself as a young woman, nervously waiting, butterflies in my stomach. I thought about the countless ordeals and hurdles just to see my loved one. I experienced the sweat, that even when it's freezing outside, manages to invade my temples. Only someone who has lived this prison-from-the-outside experience can relate.  While I sat in the visiting room I noticed the young families, the parents visiting their adult children, the in-love couples, and I thought about the advice I would give someone who is new to this life:  *Keep your cool- many peop...
Read more

My purpose

-
When I introduce myself to a stranger I always state my name, but what follows depends on my audience. "Hi! I'm Wanda, I am... a daughter, a sister, a 'single' mother of five, an aunt, a college graduate, a teacher, bilingual, from Puerto Rico, Catholic, my son's pancreas, soon to be a mother in law, A PRISON WIFE!" For many years only a small number of people were aware of that last title. I wanted to appear to be as normal as possible. In my mind, having a husband in prison was the farthest from normal. I worried that people would not take me seriously or would think that I was a bad person. Four years into my journey I received a bachelors degree and became a teacher. That's when I really became secretive about my relationship. Fast forward almost twenty four years... here I am, ready to publish my experiences and expose myself to the world (or at least to those interested in reading about my misadventures). I have recently come to a realization; what...
Read more

Getting Closer

-
Image
Almost a year since my husband has been closer. An hour drive to see him is still nothing compared to the 5 and a half from before. This last year has been full of getting back to our 'normal'; regular visits, daily phone calls (that are longer than 15 minutes!), bringing packages, etc. With more interaction, though, also came more conflict. More interruptions in my day (that sometimes weren't taken kindly), more being in the 'know' at the home-front (more about that another time :) But also more conversations about how to get over those conflicts because, soon, we'll be under one roof (God willing!). It feels good to have him near, almost like he's here! And now, with the help of technology and of course money, we have found a way to get closer. So, a couple of months ago my husband called and announced that he had finally gotten the long awaited and highly anticipated "TABLET!" It was the cutest thing ever, hearing him talk about the feature...
Read more