37 and a half to life

Today is Wednesday. The last time I spoke with my husband was last Thursday. My 'wifey' senses were tingling. Something was not right. Last time we spoke he told me that Ben Stiller and his crew were in town, filming a movie based on the infamous escape. The prison was put on lock down and as a reward, everyone was given ice cream. "They treat us like kids," he complained. "But you still ate the ice cream?" I asked in my smart aleck voice. "Of course!" he replied. And that was that. I was hoping maybe that movie was still being filmed, but knowing better than that, I made a phone call. A snarky sounding man asked me for his information and then replied "Well, he got himself a ticket and lost telephone and other privileges for 15 days, that's why you haven't heard from him!" I asked if he could still get visits and he said yes. I breathed a sigh of relief; I had just booked a hotel so I can go see him 10 days from now. I thanked ...

Most people in NY State (and many around the country) are familiar with the Attica Uprising of 1971.   Although I wasn't even born yet when it happened, I remember hearing about this horrible place called Attica when I was a teenager. Years later I would be visiting said place, with just a vague idea of what actually happened there decades prior. My husband, being inside, heard all about how it happened. It was like a folk tale being told and re-told among the inmates. He has never shared with me everything he knows about the events. As a general rule, there is a lot he doesn't tell me. I imagine that he's trying to spare me the worry that would follow if I knew too much. But I know enough. Attica, 2012 I was 8 months pregnant What I can say about Attica, from my personal experience, is that visiting was a pain, pretty much like everywhere else. The officers that processed the visitors were usually unpleasant and I have many memories of them being quite rude to me- ...

2015 Last night, my youngest daughter's school held a 'back-to-school' picnic. As I made my way there, along with four children (two un-pleased teenagers, one energetic seven year old and one excited four year old-armed with a stuffed animal and a blanket), my phone rang. It was my husband. I don't even have to look at the phone to know; I have a specific ring tone for his calls. Too many times have I missed a call... that's bad news! So, I answered and explained the current situation. We continued our conversation as I walked towards the picnic. I waved at the Principal, nodded at the PTA lady, mouthed "thank you" as I was handed a slice of pizza, all while talking on the phone. Situations such as this one are part of my life. I never get used to it, though. Truth be told, it's an inconvenience. I know, it sounds horrible! I'm lucky to be receiving a phone call, to hear that my loved one is ok. But the inconvenience is mutual; I am not givin...

1995 As many women in their 40's, I've been through my share of style transformations, especially as trends changed over the years. One of my favorite ways to change my look has always been by way of hair. I have had long, blond, dark, shaved sides, curly, straight, with bangs, no bangs, bobs, asymmetrical, and even the infamous Rachel Haircut of the mid 90's. I think it's fun to take a risk and completely go for a different style each time. 1997 The last time I chopped my locks was in January, 2015. The cut was as low as it could have been without involving a set of clippers... it was short! It was also easy to manage; wash and go, that's it. During this time, my husband was going through an especially tough time. He was sent to the box over two hours away. It was another test. We had to re-assess our situation and figure out how to make our relationship work as a new challenge faced us. He was then transferred to a new facility in the Spring. That one ...

School is back in session. In preparing myself for a new school year I reflected on my experiences as a Prison Wife. I alphabetized my list, please feel free to come up with more words in the comments section. A Absence- Your loved one is not here, he is absent but not gone. Advocate- prepare to speak for him. Calling the facility and sometimes Albany to make sure he is safe and being treated fairly. Anger-  At an unfair system, at him, for putting you through this, at yourself, because you choose to stay and suffer. Attorney- If you can afford it, hire one! B Blessings- Count them any chance you get. They are everywhere you just need to recognize them. C Caring - The only way to get through the tough times. Children - The innocent victims of incarceration. We must nurture them and teach them so that they may not continue the cycle. Crazy- Many people will question your sanity. I am here to reassure you that you are sane, promise! D Dedication- Day in and day...